My book released literally last night. The paperback at least. Because seriously, CreateSpace lies to you. It’s for liability, of course, but they estimate it will take three to five days for the book to go live on Amazon. It took seven hours. Which means the paperback is up a full five days before the supposed “release date.”

I’m not too worried about it, but I have been worried about the response this book will receive.

I’m not someone I would usually consider “nice” when using the literal meaning of the word. I’m often aggressive, overly confident, and sarcastic to a fault. But I’m also incredibly shy, struggle with low self-esteem and self-shame, and too often form my own self-worth and value around what other people think of me. This is something I struggle with every single day.

Writing has always been a way to overcome this. A way to say who I am and what I feel without being obligated to conform to a so-called societal norm while living in the Bible Belt. It has never been something that people read, aside from close friends and family members, ones whose opinions are similar to mine. (Except for fanfiction, of course, but let’s be honest, that was pretty much all for the smut, even if I was too scared to write smut at the time.)

But now this book is out in the ether, and pretty soon as a physical copy. (My personal paperbacks will arrive in three days, and I’m beyond thrilled.)

Every time someone asks me what my book is about, I hesitantly say it’s about a young woman who grudgingly attends college where her estranged father is a professor and it’s about their relationship.

That’s true.

But it’s also incredibly misleading.

I’ve been too hesitant to be honest about it, even though writing is one of the most honest things you can do. So now that the book is officially out for the public to consume and love or like or hate as much as they please, I guess it’s time to lay down a couple truth bombs.

This book is about people. Sometimes honest, sometimes kind, sometimes heartless bastards, but it is about real people. It’s about the relationships we have with each other, and it’s about the perceptions, and often misperceptions, we have about each other. It’s about poor first impressions, bad decisions, and struggling to understand and master your own emotions. It’s about self-liberation. It’s about sex, especially young, ill-informed, probably incredibly unhealthy sex. It’s about figuring out who you are and what to do with your life in a world that tells you the American Dream is getting a nine-to-five job and working until you retire, in a world where creativity and individuality mean volunteering to make that awesome presentation for whatever mindless product your company is hawking. It’s about learning to try when you feel like everything in the world is pushing you down and saying you’ll never be good enough. It’s about blatant lies to your face, even your own face, and it’s about brutal honesty. And above all, it’s about being true to yourself, about being your True Self.

And it is controversial. (Much like myself as a liberal atheist living in a place where the question was never “What religion are you?” but “Which church do you go to?”)

So, for my own sake, I say again: This book is controversial. This book is not what people think it will be when they pick it up. This book contains explicit sex, incredible amounts of foul language, underage drinking, and morally ambiguous subject matter.

If you don’t like that, even if you’re a beloved and dear friend or family member, I don’t recommend you read the book. Or probably any adult book I write. And that’s fine. You’re more than welcome to your opinion, and I’m sure I still value you as a person and loved one.

But I will also say, if reading it changes your opinion of me, then you still have a lot to learn about who I am. Because my writing is first and foremost for myself, and I am not here to please you. More than anything, I have to be true to who I am, who my characters are, and where the story itself leads.

If, however, none of this dissuades you from reading the book, snag your free ebook today!